yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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