Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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