she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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