We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
