I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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