Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
