Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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