we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
