Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
