butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
