I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
