i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
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