she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
