Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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