In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
