We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
