I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
