just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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