Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize