Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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