I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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