She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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