Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
My balls are so social today.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize