Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
