I'm pants shitting drunk right now
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
