R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
