Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
