My brain says no but my pants say off.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
