you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
