He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
That accounts for only three of the penises
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
It's not a walk of shame if you run
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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