Need sex. Gaining weight.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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