Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
