She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
