How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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