So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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