im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
