The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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