At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
