A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Just pee around me
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
