I wish I could punch you in the face.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
