i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I want you more than these girls want KFC
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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