I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
