you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
