Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Mom said you looked used
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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