I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize
