Since when is my name a synonym for head?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
