This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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