to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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