sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Randomize
