I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
