omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
last night I used snow as a chaser
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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