Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
