Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
