508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
