They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
