you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize