U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
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