if i can run in heels then i can drive
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
