i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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