Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Randomize
