Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
