I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
