Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Randomize
