Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
