haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
