It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize