I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
