he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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