I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
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