Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
