Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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