yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
