Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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