Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Are we still banned from the library?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
