Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize