He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Randomize
