Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
