I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
